


When you look at me I start to blush.

by pseudofoucault333



Series: ROK Standalones [5]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Body Worship, Character Study, Episode: s01e04 Cyberwoman, Episode: s01e06 Countrycide, Episode: s01e13 End of Days, Episode: s02e01 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Episode: s02e13 Exit Wounds, Flirting, M/M, Massage, Past Lisa Hallett/Ianto Jones, Season/Series 01, Season/Series 02, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2865632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudofoucault333/pseuds/pseudofoucault333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto loves and hates his response to Jack.</p><p>Written 2009 and unbetad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When you look at me I start to blush.

**Title:** When you look at me I start to blush [s/a]  
**Author:** lovin_torture // pseudofoucault333  
**Fandom:** Torchwood  
**Pairing/character:** Janto  
**Rating:** R  
**Prompt:** Ianto loves and hates his response to Jack.  
**Kink:** physical responses  
**Notes/Warnings:** Set during Season 1  & season 2 and includes slash. No beta so any mistakes made are in fact my own.  
**POV:** Ianto  
**Disclaimer:** title © plumb and of course me no Own Torchwood, Jack or Ianto....if I did they'd obviously still be living. Or better yet giving me a show ;)

Ever since I’d met Jack it was like my body seemed to take complete control over my mind and my actions. It betrayed all my attempts to pretend I felt nothing for him especially when Lisa was still alive. But it had started that night when I finally caught him after all that time I’d spent searching and getting in contact with old colleagues to find out about the mysterious Captain Jack Harkness. Seeing him wrestling that Weevil I’d felt almost an ache circulating through my body at the sight of his body from the flashes of skin my eyes managed to catch. He probably could see me blushing but tried to brush it off as he gathered up the weevil and walked away, not even stopping when I commented on his RAF coat.

The next day when I caught him as the back entrance along the bay the blush and the ache came back in full force, the latter practically begging me to do something. I got closer than before by offering him the coffee I’d made, his fingertips grazing mine causing a spark that seemed to make my heart skip a beat. Our gazes locked as he took a sip of the coffee, his eyes sparkling flirtatiously like he could tell but despite that he still turned me down and walked away, leaving me cursing myself for getting my hopes up. I should have guessed it wouldn't be so easy. 

That night when I found the pterodactyl I knew it was the perfect chance, the only issue being he would never come if I gave him the choice. I managed to flag him down by standing in the middle of the road. He immediately ranted at me but his eyes gave him away, like he was glad to see me again but not abut to admit it if he could get away with it. I remained calm and stated my reason for being there with a calm exterior even as my heart seemed stuck in my throat which immediately made him stop and look at me with a sense of wonder like he was curious as to how I had managed to find it.

After knocking it out and catching Jack I found myself lying above him, his body pressing against mine enticingly. Our gazes locked causing my mouth to go dry with need as his laughter stopped. My cock twitched and it hardened against his hip around the same time his did but my mind screamed Lisa’s name incessantly to remind me why I was doing this to begin with. My body seemed to refuse to listen to the point where all I could think of was my need to feel his skin, what the taste of his lips would be like and how it would feel to have him inside me making me his lowly bitch as I panted and begged for more. The last thought seemed the most disturbing to me and immediately I told him I had to go. My heart was still racing even as I got to my feet and began to walk stiffly towards the door, my hard on rubbing irritatingly against my boxers. 

I only just heard him say my name, my body turning to face his like a flower to a slit of light in a dark room, to register the seriousness to a flirtatious degree as he told me to be at work the next day. With reluctance I pushed myself to walk away, my hands clenched tightly in my pockets. I kept walking with my eyes closed even as I heard him compliment my suit.

From then on the good outweighed the bad though each time I’d find him flirting with me, my ears would burn but the professional air I’d perfected still remained to keep him from guessing. Then Lisa happened and I found my world falling apart at the seams as the man who’d condemned her to death without so much as listening to me, the same man my body ached and craved for led the attack that killed her when I couldn't make myself do it. He suspended me after the mess was cleaned up and I was sure that was the end of it, of whatever he felt for me. No such luck. 

The next night he came to visit, probably to give himself peace of mind, I barely acknowledged his presence until he said my name so softly it was almost like a whisper. I found him sat beside me on the couch, his fingers massaging all the tension out the back of my neck but it didn’t stop the conflict under the surface that I just froze. I wanted to kiss him and yet at the same time I wanted to push him away and yell at him after what he let happened. He made the choice for me, but not in the demanding way I anticipated, just by directing my lips to his and letting his lips graze a pattern as he waited for my response. 

The animalistic urge was coiled around my heart and I let myself give in. Let his tongue explore my mouth on the couch that I and Lisa had brought together in London before canary wharf. It continued from there and yet after our bodies were covered in sweat and cum and spent from trying to find a comfortable position on the couch he left with only a kiss on my forehead. Like words weren't necessary. That whole night I cried like I’d never cried before. I cried for Lisa’s death, for my body’s need for Jack to still be fucking me and my minds conflict. I spent that night still on the couch with his scent clinging to my skin and assuring me I’d finally got what I’d been wanting all along.

It continued on like that for the whole month I was off work, each night he’d come to check on me, sometimes bringing food, and fuck me. Sometimes on the couch and against the kitchen counter though we steadily progressed to my bed and it was a relief on my back to not have slept in such a cramped space. After we were done each time he’d leave and each time I’d cry until I fell asleep dreaming of Jack’s next visit. By the time the month was up and I was back at work all I could wonder was what the hell now? I suppose in a way it got back to normal, he’d flirt, make innuendos and wink until he got those all too familiar reactions from me. But after what happened at Brecon Beacons he started coming to mine to check I was OK.

The night after he eventually showered with me to make sure I didn’t fall from a concussion which is romantic in a strange way. He stayed the whole night but while my body hummed at the feel of his arm over my waist I knew it wouldn't last. That one of these days he would leave and I’d hate myself for getting so attached. It turned out to be just as I predicted. He left twice after Abaddon. First time spiritually and the second time all together.I hated my heart for aching, for crying, for wanting to curl up in a dark corner until he came back. 

But by the time he did return and I felt the spark back in my veins when he looked at me I knew it was pointless to deny it any more. All hell continued to break loose as is the Torchwood way and yet I seemed to ease into a sense of peace every time he said my name, touched me or looked at me. It gradually became a sense of acceptance I suppose. That this man, when I had never wanted to be with a man so much before, had me willing to jump through hoops just to be close to him. But even then I knew we were both holding back. While I could feel the love I dared not identify it or point it out to him for fear of what would happen. Hell he’s immortal, he could move on without so much as a thought, the mere fact that made my stomach churn…..so I never said it.

Yet after this night with Gray, after losing Tosh and Owen I can feel the desperation in our usual dance. The way he’s presses me up against the wall to take control of my exhausted but all too willing body. How his lips follow the contours my body when each piece of clothing had been thrown to the floor, to the point where he’s knelt with his lips pressed to the arch of my foot. How he pushes me back on to the bed and crawls over me, leaving kisses and marks on those spots that he knows drive my body crazy. From the pulse spot on my neck to behind my right ear to my left nipple and the trail down my abdomen to the kisses he presses to my inner thighs. The way he nips at my hip as his hands cause me to groan with need. Yet as he starts the usual rhythm I can feel the passion and that this isn’t like the usual need for a quick fuck in the archives after a three day shift. 

For the first time we’re making love and it means so much more, him reminding himself and assuring me that we are both alive. And as long as he has his way neither of us is going anywhere. 

God I love my body’s need for Captain Jack Harkness and right now I wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
